), but South Africa's recent history of institutionalized segregation means black men remain as invisible in gay Cape Town as if they weren't there at all.The common denominator here, though, isn't just the million-dollar lead-off question but what it implies: There's no escaping guys who are driven primarily by libidinal concerns.Then the ice-breaking question became a recurring theme in pretty much every city I visited and lived in, including Cape Town, where black men outnumber white men by a considerable margin.I wasn't expecting the black sexual mystique to apply there (I was once even asked by a black guy!And what do I have to show for all that time spent living outside the U. The list goes on, but here are some highlights: at least twice as much romantic drama (and comedy) in half the time I spent in New York City, at least two books (the first, , is out Nov.4), and at least five valuable lessons in love and lust. A man is a man is a man -- no matter where you meet him.“What are the odds that that perfect person is within a 25-mile radius of your home? Turns out her future husband was living 3,400 miles away in a tiny village with the population of 60.
Another interesting paradigm I’ve found is the different expectations on cheating with international men. It was expected that a high SMV value international man was going to have multiple affairs while the woman had to be an example of virtue and chastity.But on Meetic, she Skypes with a Parisian man from the site for an hour each day.This month they missed connections — she flew to France for vacation the same day he flew to NYC for business — yet Lillian managed to line up two dates with another Frenchman Meetic member while in Paris.Most are either too young, too old, too married or too incarcerated to date. “French men really treat you like a lady,” says Lillian, a 42-year-old Manhattan copy editor who signed up for Meetic.com, Europe’s largest dating site.The remaining 17 have weird hobbies, creepy hygiene and bad manners. “They wine you, they dine you, they make you feel like you’re the only one on the planet.” Lillian describes the men she’s met on US-based dating sites as “sleazy,” and the real-life dating scene in New York as “nonexistent.” “I go out here — and nothin’,” she says.While my social research did not yield consistent findings across all cultures, there were some significant differences I noticed dating international men. These men opened doors, put on your coat, paid the bill 98% of time and lit your cigarettes (don’t smoke, it’s bad for you).